#MommaMondays: Reflecting On The Past, Hoping For the Future

"As I reflect on everything 2020 has brought upon us,
I try to appreciate the good and learn from the bad."

By Jo Anne

As I reflect on everything 2020 has brought upon us, I try to appreciate the good and learn from the bad. One of the COVID effects that was hard for a first-time mother was the inability to socialize BJ as much as I wanted (playdates, etc.) nor were we able to throw a huge and exciting first birthday party that I had imagined for months. 

But what I did learn to appreciate is that BJ didn’t need an over-the-top party. All he needed was to be surrounded by the people who loved him most (and having his first ever Happy Meal 😊).

Another obstacle that Papi and I went through during the pandemic was working from home with an infant all over the place while also living in my parents’ home. We had a full house, limited space, my office was also BJ’s nursery, and trying to focus on work while my son was screaming in the background to be nursed was not ideal. 

After living with my parents for three years and realizing COVID wasn’t going to get better anytime soon, we knew it was time to find our own place and put BJ in daycare so the three of us could all get a normal routine that belonged to us.

For BJ’s first year of life, we were blessed to have my parents take care of him while we were at work – there were only few we trusted with BJ. So putting him in school was scary especially during COVID. I did not know his teachers or any of his classmates. Would he behave? Was I putting my son at risk? Will the teachers take care of him as much as my mother or Bryan and I would? Why can’t I work and take good care of him at the same time? 

But after almost five months, this has been one of the best decisions we have made as parents. BJ is finally able to socialize with other toddlers, he is learning more than he ever would at home, his teachers are giving him their undivided attention like he deserves, he’s learning more about our faith (since we are not allowed to bring children to mass), AND Bryan and I are able to work efficiently at home. Advice for parents especially those both working full-time, take help where you can! You and your kid(s) need it more than you think!

"Lastly, what COVID has taught Papi and I, was that we would find our most understanding family and friends and that not everyone thinks the same as you, and that’s okay. "

Lastly, what COVID has taught Papi and I, was that we would find our most understanding family and friends and that not everyone thinks the same as you, and that’s okay. When I was pregnant with BJ, we immediately thought our social life would diminish. Surprisingly, that didn’t happen after BJ was born. We were on the move every weekend, but when the pandemic hit, declining social events was not as easy as we thought. 

We had friends and family that didn’t take it as seriously as we should’ve and feeling obligated to attend took a toll on me mentally and emotionally – I am a people-pleaser especially for those I love and care about. Not only were we putting ourselves at risk, but also our son and parents (who were elderly and high-risk). Was this going to affect our relationships? Last year already brought out many differences in political opinions and racial equality, what more did we need?

When I started #MommaMondays (fka #MommyMondays) with the M Report last year, I mentioned that if there was one thing I was meant to be in life, it was a being a mother. And here I am, expecting once again along with many other girlfriends of mine who I get to share this experience with despite all the negativity COVID has given. 

This year, I will feature a fellow expecting mother each month to provide any advice and things they wish they would have known while being pregnant during a pandemic.