By Missy E.
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| Hope is not far away for those who seek it. Every season has a purpose. (Photo by Nathan Cowley) |
If I'm a storyteller, if my gift is the written word, then I suppose here goes my reflection for Nov. 10's Sunday Soul Session on The M Report.
The Scripture parable about the woman and two coins was the main focus today. For a quick refresher, the people in the house of worship contributed money to the treasury, some offering large sums, but it was the offering of a woman in poverty who gave her only two coins, her everything to the treasury that stood out to Jesus where he pointed out her actions to His disciples. This written reflection is what I want to emphasize:
"Our Lord desires that we should know how badly we need Him, that we should perceive our profound poverty before Him. By giving her whole livelihood, this widow puts herself in a position that necessitates unmitigated trust in God's providence.
She is not afraid to be weak and small before God, and He delights in such childlike abandonment: our weakness attracts God because it offers Him an emptiness that He can fill ... no matter how deep the abyss of our misery, it cannot be an obstacle to God's action. Sanctity doesn't consist in this or that practice, but in a disposition of the heart which makes us little and humble in God's arms."
So the question begs to ask us, how is your heart, today? Does it need extra lovin', does it need a spark of joy, does it need healing? Does it need the freedom to speak something that's been hidden or abandoned?
When it comes to how badly we need Jesus, 2024 for me has been a nonstop prayer of desperation, complete helplessness, surrendering, and profound poverty in spirit. What that has become for me is a more deeper, intimate relationship with our Lord. Something I read recently stopped me in my tracks because it said something to the effect of, our current sufferings are a direct line of grace, to depend completely on Christ to an extent that He becomes the center of our vision. What if those sufferings did not exist? Would I take life for granted or completely disregard any need for Christ? If this testing is a blessing where God is in control, how will my life reflect that?
2024 was the most beautiful year and the most difficult year thus far as a woman of faith. It tested me to my core and continues to do so. I wrap my arms in Jesus to carry me through. My strength seen on the surface comes from those quiet moments we just sat in silence among nature and just had these intimate conversations and prayers.
Let me tell you. Jesus met me exactly where I was every time. He sent others to be His voice, His support, His love, His joy and I can't unsee those precious moments. I finished this amazing television series called The Chosen this season on the promptings of my dear sister Mary. Wow, this creative film series was something I never know I needed so badly. That's because it brought Jesus and Scripture to life in a way that was pertinent to this season. I didn't have to imagine Jesus speaking, I could watch His heart in action among His people. Those visuals carried me many times during my pregnancy and beyond.
The beautiful thing portrayed in this series is how Jesus spoke to his apostles directly to their problems even though He never physically met his disciples in person yet. He heard their most intimate prayer and worries and showed compassion. That was thousands of years ago, right, but I testify today to His infinite goodness.
My point with this post about complete abandonment and trust is that sometimes, most times, it is hard. I know this, personally. Hard conversations have taken place. But like the reflection: put yourself in a position that necessitates unmitigated trust in God's providence.
God's providence HAD to happen. I told God I have nothing to offer, nothing but my weakness and incompleteness and surrender. I don't like the idea of testing God, because I don't really think we have the capacity to do that, but doing as much as humanly possibly to showcase that unmitigated trust in God to move, God to take action, becomes the next thing that must happen. I was like the women in the Bible that just knew if I but touch his cloak, I would be healed. This became the air that I breathe.
I always knew my daughter would be my greatest testimony. I come to share that what I had spoken, is true. To God be the glory. I know what a living miracle is because my precious baby is alive and showing us what resilience looks like.
God's mercy is the air I breathe, what fills my lungs and allows my heart to beat. So it must be for this beautiful soul, this unique soul, whom God chose to be under me and my husband's care. It's not, why us, but it had to be us. Life wasn't meant to be easy, but fulfilling. Instead of a throwaway culture that disregards inconvenience for convenience, we chose life. We chose divine providence.
Complete abandonment and trust can be hard, but we are free because of it, since it means we are aligned with a power bigger than us, bigger than the universe. May God bless you!
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